


Gay Camp

by TitanPandora



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: He's a little cutie tho, Homophobia, Like those super edgy gay camps that Catholic Mom's send their babies, M/M, Religion, Suicide Attempt, Well Ludwig goes to those camps, gay camp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-18 15:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TitanPandora/pseuds/TitanPandora
Summary: Going through adolescent with strict parents believing religion is hard as it is, but one little mistake leaves Ludwig, the perfect Christian boy, in a place dubbed 'Faggot Hell', but all Hells have a little sunlight and that may be just in a person.





	1. Young

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Reader  
> I have nothing against religion nor do I use any slurs to hurt anyone. This story is to depict a corrupted religion like the Westbro Baptist church. If you may find offence to religious views I share in this story please keep those comments to yourself. This story is to entertain and not be bias to any other religion or share my views. 
> 
> Yay, I finally got this story out, I decided to do a first person pov which is always nice and different. Ludwig is around 12 at the first part of the story and goes through the struggles before he goes to 'Faggot Hell'

Have you ever felt like you were born wrong. Like God set you on this earth and said be free my little devil. I also felt like I was born in the totally wrong family, my parents were egoistic Baptist. They thought everything on this fucking earth was bad. Gays=Bad. Trans=Bad. Being Yourself=Bad. Being Ludwig=Bad. At a young age I believed that, there are literally pictures of little me standing with a big sign that says 'ALL FAGS MUST DIE' That's funny, I hung it up in my house, my boyfriend says it gives the room character.

But enough of his aesthetic designing and back to me. My parents were Louise Beilschmidt and Richard Beilschmidt, both working and strict parents. I had an older brother, Gilbert, he didn't stick around after Mum found a gay porn magazine and a stash of kush, his ass was kicked out. I took one for the team by screaming and crying, but they didn't listen to me. They called him terrible names that I still hear in my head to this day.

After I grew a little older my parents wanted me to be just like them, surprise, I didn't. They wanted me to be a priest, spread the practices they forced me to do, but also surprise, I became a baker who barely even goes to church. This is a short story I made to talk about my life and how I went to a Conservation Camp, met a really cute boy, and found that God loves me even if I am a fag.

* * *

 

"Ludwig! Time to rise and shine!" Mother tapped on my door, slowly I rose in the bed stretching out from the night on my bed. Sometimes it felt like heaven and other time it was like sleeping on a brick. I liked my room, it was a place I could relax and not have everyone breathing down my neck, though my mom made it mandatory that I have a cross over my bed so God can watch over me.

Even at a young age I found that fucking creepy. Like God, go watch someone else.

"You have Bible Studies after school so remember not to get on the bus." Mom chimed as she pulled out the mandatory white button down shirt and khakis. Sluggishly I put myself in the clothing while my mom left to get the gel and the hair brush. She came back quickly squirting it in her hand and brushing it back slickly. When she was done she fixed my pants pulled the two crosses and placed them oh so perfectly.

"Hey Mom," I started grabbing my bag, "What would you say if Saturday I slept over at Alfred's he invited me yesterday."

She put a hand on her hip, "You know you have church tomorrow young man."

"Yeah, I know, he said I can come to his church."

She gave him a hard stare until finally a soft smile broke from her lips making my face go into a face splitting grin. "Okay, okay, I'll talk to Mrs. Jones about it. Now hurry and go outside so you don't miss the bus."

I ran over and gave her the biggest hug and scampered outside. It was a miracle she actually said yes and a night staying over at Alfred's would be the funniest. I waited and soon the bus came and I ran on it. I hopped into the seat next to the blonde and ripped his headphones out.

"Woah dude," My best friend laughed, "Why are you so happy."

"My mom said yes!"

Alfred froze, his eyes darted around, "Is the world ending?" he screamed.

"I don't know! But she said yes!" I slapped his shoulder with a big smile, "I can't wait to see your church, Methodists are weird."

He laughed, "Well I think Baptists are crazy."

I shrugged, "They have good points."

"God hates fags?" Alfred muttered.

I just gave a sheepish smile and shrugged. It really wasn't a thing I could do, I grew up with my parents always telling me I had to marry a female. I've seen the picket signs, the screaming, I've done the screaming, and even in public. It was just a thing, I didn't like gay people.

We went silent, I think I may of hurt Alfred from my words, but why would he care about homosexuals, they were just beasts placed on this world to tempt the uncorrupted into doing sexual acts that God didn't want, or that's what I heard from my pastor.

I wanted to make more conversation to somehow lighten the mood, but the bus stopped at the school. We went to a Catholic School that was extremely bias. It was like going to my church everyday. As we got off the bus I looked over to see Ivan everyday. He had a sandwich in his hand and he ate it on one of the benches beside the garden. He enjoyed the garden, because he was the Garden Club President.

"Hey, what is Ivan doing?" Alfred asked like every morning.

"Why are you concerned?" I always said back.

"I don't know, just interested." Was what he always said back to me, his cheeks going a little red. Maybe he was getting sick, I hope he feels better.

When we got into the school Alfred and I parted ways, he explained he was going to his locker to put away books and would see me in first period. I just casually shrugged and left for class. When I got to English I noticed Alfred beat me, but his cheeks were now darker. His blunt fingernails were tapping on the desk.

"Alfred." I started, he almost jumped out his seat, "Are you okay?" I asked, "You are very jumpy and your cheeks are red." I put the back of my hand on his forehead, his face grew in heat.

"I'm fine Ludwig!" He jumped up and laughed nervously, he went to put his hand on the back of the table to lean, but he missed the table and toppled over. A flutter of giggles came around the classroom as girls and boys laughed at the poor guy's clumsiness. "Ow!" Alfred touched the back of his head.

"Alfred!" It was Ivan, how odd, the boy was usually the last one to get into the classroom. Both he and I went to our knees. Ivan touched where Alfred was holding and his came back with blood. "I must take him to the nurse, I'll be back! Tell Sister Esther where we are!" He picked Alfred up in a bridal style and ran him out of the classroom.

I stood there was a confusion expression, everyone had went silent after they saw Alfred was injured. I look at the blood on the tile and back at the door, with a frown that slowly seared across my lips. Why was I feeling this gurgle feeling in my stomach, it was a good feeling, but also at the same time it stirred something inside me. Why did Ivan helping Alfred make me feel this way and in different words they were really close. Like to the point where they'd be...... oh no.


	2. Gay!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I need help." I whispered as the tears came back, I looked at the door and back at the window.  
> 'Which way do you want to go Ludwig?' Both voices asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning! Attempt and thoughts of Suicide!!!  
> Dear Reader  
> I have nothing against religion nor do I use any slurs to hurt anyone. This story is to depict a corrupted religion like the Westbro Baptist church. If you may find offence to religious views I share in this story please keep those comments to yourself. This story is to entertain and not be bias to any other religion or share my views.
> 
> New Chapter, it got super hot and scary. I need to fix some tags so haha oops. Hope you like keep reviewing!

Remember when I said me and Alfred were going to have a sleepover, well fast forward 5 years. After hearing what happened to Alfred, which the young boy had to go to the doctors and have staples on the back of his head, because he split it open, but when she (as in my mother) heard his head was split open she deemed him dangerous. It took 5 years to convince her Alfred was not a spawn of Satan, literally.

But 17-year-old me finally got my mom to say yes and I watched Alfred like a hawk so he wouldn't do anything stupid, well he did a lot of stupid stuff, but just not the stupid stuff where he hurts himself. But lucky me, we got on that bus and went to his house and sat down in his living room, no harm.

The sleepover was fine, it was the usual kind where you'd talk and do stupid stuff. I watched Alfred reach for his phone, his slid screen being a picture of him and Ivan.

"Why is Ivan your phone screen?" I asked innocently as I leaned over his shoulder, "It's a nice picture, but you don't want people thinking you are gay!" I spat out the last word.

Alfred raised his eyebrow and shut his phone down, throwing it across the room, "Oh shut up Ludwig, what if I was gay?" he practically shouted.

Silence filled the room, Alfred watched me slowly piece together. "Please do not speak such ill words. You remember what the Sisters say, being homosexual is bad!" I smacked the back of my hand with a frown, "You will be struck down by God himself! You will go to Hell!"

"Ludwig!" Alfred cut me off, he rubbed his face, "Why would God send me to Hell for loving. Are you so afraid to just be yourself!" he grasped his friend's hands.

"absolutely not!" I gasped ripping his hand out of mine, "You aren't being yourself! You are being the devil! I must pray for you!" I bowed quickly clasping my hand around my family's cross.

"Ludwig!" Alfred laughed, "I don't need your silly prays. I am fine!"

Those words hit me, because Alfred was fine. He didn't look beaten up or lit on fire, because God struck him down. He still was the same stupid Alfred who once tried to eat fire for a bet and had the loud motorbike he drove in the rain just to get muddy.

"Are-" I almost choked on my words, I felt  ashamed, "Are you and an Ivan a-" I really couldn't get mostly everything out, but I knew he figured everything out.

"Me and Ivan dating, Psh! Ludwig seriously," He slowly slid down to the floor, "I wish, I mean you can believe I put out every move in the book, but he doesn't look my way."

Laughter passed my lips, "Seriously, He's always looking at you!"

"Really!"

"Really, I mean the amount of times I turned around and met his eyes is over a thousand and you probably hang out with him more than you hang out with me."

"Hey," Alfred looked over narrowing his eyes, "It's not my fault you're in Bible Class every day forever."

I grabbed Alfred's shirt sleeve and brought him close, "Don't tell my mom or dad, but I refer to that as Bible Hell."

Laughter filled the room, "Oh, you are such a Christian Luddy'ol boy! Here come here, I have the perfect movie we can watch!" He grabbed his computer off the desk and typed in the name of the movie.

"The Chainsaw Massacre." My voice quivered as I made a cross on my body.

"Oh shut up you sissy, now come on it isn't that bad!" He sat in the plush corner that was his dog's bed with blankets and pillows. I joined him with a small smile, during the movie I leaned my head on his shoulder and he didn't mind. He even put his arm around me during the movie, it made my stomach do flips, I even grasped the cross on my chest. He held me close during the jump scares and the particularly gory parts, it felt weird, but somewhere in my body I kind of liked it.

You would think we'd do more, but I ended up falling asleep on him and he fell asleep on me. His mom was quite amusing to see us fast asleep on each other on Liberty's (His golden retriever) bed. She told us we had to get ready for church. I got ready faster than the sluggish caterpillar that was my best friend.

Mrs. Jones set down a plate of waffles for me and him, I ate them charmingly. I watched Alfred come down the stairs wearing jeans and sweatshirt, you can clearly tell I was appalled. Here I was in a cleanly pressed white button down with both crosses framing my chest and my best slacks.

"Aren't you going to dress up more?" I asked watching him scarf down waffles like he hadn't eaten in five days.

"What?" He said with a mouth of waffles, he quickly swallowed them and just smiled, "You don't have to dress up for church, nobody cares."

"At my church they do..." I grumbled staring down at my plate.

"Hey." Alfred said quietly, he leaned across the chapter brushing his thumb against my chin making me lift it up. "Cheers." He held up his glass of orange juice.

I just smiled back at him and lifted my half drank cup, clinking them together. "Cheers." I offered back finishing it off.

Alfred laughed around the rim of his cup and tapped his blunt fingernails across the table. I couldn't really understand my feelings, I wanted to yell at him for touching me, but I also wanted to thank him for cheering me up and give him a big hug. Why did it bother me Ivan was ignoring Alfred's come ons.

"Time to go, knuckle heads." Mr. Jones announced ruffling his son's hair. "We don't wanna miss the service. Your mother would have our head." He joked with me. I couldn't help but smile, it was true.

They ushered us to the minivan and me and Alfred rough housed and played games. At this point whenever Alfred touched me it was like someone shocked me, I couldn't help but wish we got to church faster.

Alfred's church was a huge cathedral that was beautiful, if I had a camera I'd love to take pictures. My mother always said photography was expensive so I never really put myself towards that.

"Damn, I forgot to charge my phone!" Alfred's voice came into my thoughts. He had those really cool and new flip phones where you push it up and there was a keyboard. I really wanted one, but my mom wouldn't let me have them. She thought technology was against God's will. With that she wouldn't even get a computer.

"Alfred, watch your language!" I scolded him. We walked together to the front of the church.

Alfred rolled his eyes putting an arm around me, "Really? Ludwig I've heard you say worst things!"

My eyes widen, "Shush! Alfred! I thought we said we wouldn't talk about!" During school me and Alfred decided to eat in one of the classrooms so we could do problems on the chalk boards. I slipped on the floor and my lunch went flying everywhere, before I knew it 'Motherfucker' burst pass my mouth as I quickly collected my sandwich.

Alfred found it hilarious and proceeded to tell a few kids at the school, the problem was they thought my buddy Alfred was lying, because they knew how such a devout Christian I was.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Alfred pocketed his phone and we strolled into the chapel. The organ played loudly and the different people were talking. I watched everyone with careful eyes, making sure nobody got too close to me.

"Hey, mom, me and Luddy gotta use the bathroom." Alfred chimed.

"Wait Alfred-" He stepped on my foot, a squeak passed my throat as I listened to his mother telling him to hurry up, because the sermon was about to start. Taking my wrist he pulled me away, I saw a sign for the bathroom, but he completely walked passed it.

"Alfred!" I started, "Isn't the bathroom that way!" I pointed down the hallway, but he took a turn away.

"Yeah, I know." he smirked.

He led me upstairs and closed a door behind me. "Welcome to let's get away from church." He lifted his arms and showed me to a room with couches and a board. "A few other kids come here, but we pretend to tell our parents that we can hear the services from here."

I strained my ear, but I heard absolutely nothing. "Alfred!" I snapped, "We should go back! The service is a time for praying! Not hiding!"

"Jesus Christ," Alfred muttered laying against the couch, "All you do is nag! Let loose Ludwig."

"This is religion!"

I saw his face scrunch up and he approached me so slowly. "Alfred!" I yelled as I hit the wall. "Stop! Get away!" He slammed his hand right next to my head. I looked over at the hand and gulped as I felt his thumb stroke my chin.

"Ludwig, Ludwig, Ludwig," he scolded shaking his head, "You are going to grow up and be your parents if you don't let loose. Here, we can talk," his voice stirred something deep in me, I couldn't think I could only watch and feel his thumb rhythmically stroking my chin.

"What do you want." I snapped, but my voice slowly went to a squeak. What did he want, why was he so close, why was he watching me like a hawk!

"Have you ever questioned your sexuality."

I stared back with the same intensity, "Why would you ask me something like that. No! I will marry a woman like the Bible tells me to!"

"You haven't even kissed a girl," He watched me blush and revert my eyes to my shoes. "Don't act like that, I'm your best friend, I know you better than anyone."

"Stop," I pleaded, my hands went to his sweatshirt and pulled at the hem, "Please, what do you want Alfred!" I looked up and watched him narrow his eyes.

"Ludwig." The name just rolled off his tongue, "Has anyone told you that you have the most beautiful eyes in the world."

He leaned in and as soon as I knew it his lips brushed against mine. "Do I make you question your sexuality?" he asked, I could practically taste his breath.

"Alfred." I whispered back.

Then I was trapped, his hand ran into my hair and his other squeezed against my hip. I grabbed the front of his shirt and together we fought through the mouth. We took time to breath, but the rest was just pure making out.

I felt alive, I felt different, I felt myself! Like this shouldn't be happening, but at the same time it was! I remember holding up the sign saying all fags must die and watched the homosexuals look at me and eyes soften. They saw me, they saw through my walls. How could they? But the reason was they were already gold and they could see the other's that desperately tried to be silver so their gold couldn't show.

"Alfred." I smiled after he was done ravishing me and feeling me up. "What the hell dude," a giggle passed my lips, "Give me a warning next time you try choking me with your tongue."

The golden blonde shrugged, "Yeah, and those little whines you make, warn me of that." He kissed my lips and I kissed him back.

"Alfred!" The door burst open and Mrs. Jones walked in. She saw the two boys pressed against the wall, both of their cheeks red, my face grew in redness as I watched her piece things together.

"This isn't what it looks like." Was the first words to pass Alfred's lips as he pushed himself off me. "Ludwig had something in his eye and I was checking to see if he was okay."

"Right?" Mrs. Jones snapped, "You're coming with me young man! I will have none of this homosexuality in my house, especially not done in a place like church!" She marched over, her heels hurt every time it hit the floor.

She grabbed Alfred's arm and suddenly I grabbed his other. "Mrs. Jones! Wait!"

"Now Ludwig!" She snapped in my face, "I thought you would be better! I am sure to let your mom know!"

"Mrs. Jones!" I screamed, "It was accident!"

"Accidents don't just happen!" She flung Alfred away and raised her hand, a slap came across my cheek and I thumped to the ground. Tears ran flush down my cheeks, "Accidents are made by stupid fags." Mrs. Jones, the sweetest lady on earth, spit on me and walked out of that room.

Alfred looked back at me and gave me a lopsided smile before he slammed the door behind himself. I laid on that floor my hand gripping my cheek as I felt tears fall.

"Alfred you bastard!" I yelled at the door, "I hate you! Run away! You fucking stupid faggot!" Words spilled across the room, I slammed my hand into the wood and my lip quivered. That idiot, he forced me out of the closet to amuse himself. I would tell Ivan this, I will tell him everything, but what time? After my mother hears I kissed a boy I will become nonexistent.

Shakily I stood up and noticed a black flip phone sitting on the couch. I grabbed it with cautious and opened it up, the picture of Ivan and Alfred made me cringe. I made a text and I wrote out my heart to that poor Russian and after it was sent I hurled my arm back and slammed it into the wall. Like tears, it fell and the plastic crumbled.

I was pissed and I didn't know why, but it felt good. Kissing Alfred was like something new, but I didn't like him. He was my friend and complete asshole, I would never consider going out with him.

'Ludwig!' my brain screamed 'We aren't going out with Alfred, we are straight! You are no fag you are a strong male! We will tell mom it was all an accident and how Alfred forced this on you'

'But he didn't, you wanted him to kiss you.' A tiny voice whispered.

'No! He forced himself on you! You aren't gay!'

'But you are, you are very sick.'

"I need help." I whispered as the tears came back, I looked at the door and back at the window.

'Which way do you want to go Ludwig?' Both voices asked.

I felt myself rise and I pushed open the window, I looked down and saw the street. This must have been the highest floor of the building. Rubbing my tears away on the wrist, I removed my crosses and gripped them tight in my hand as I climbed and sat on the ledge of the window. My tears fell and dripped down on the empty pavement.

'What are you doing, hurry' The voice snapped.

"Ludwig!" I turned around and felt someone grab me. My mother. I'm dead.

I screamed and I tried to force myself out this damn window, but all together I was pulled out. I grabbed her shirt and hugged her tightly screaming how sorry I was and how I was disappointment to the family. My crosses fell out my hand and clink so slowly on the floor.

"It's okay." She smiled, "You can be different from those fags, you can get help. God will forgive you if you make an action to fix yourself."

She hugged me close, tears dripping down her cheek to land on my shoulder. I felt bad, but not like myself.

What was wrong with me?

I've been taught my whole life that if you were gay you were bad! It said straight in the bible that gays are the devil, they are a way to not get into Heaven. So why did God hate me so much that he wouldn't let me in heaven.

Why was I so different.

Why did God hate me so much?

I wish I knew.


	3. Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was gay and I realized that the silver was being scratched away and gold was appearing and at this point it didn't really bother me. I completely stopped caring.

Operation avoid Alfred was done for 3 weeks, constantly I had him asking if I was okay and if he could talk to me, but I refused, I barely even looked at him. The teachers kept me in the classroom during lunch and asked me different questions like I was crazy. I would narrow my eyes and hold my tongue when they prayed for me. I didn't need their prayers. I stopped praying before bed, I forgot to say my Hail Mary's, I barely paid attention in church, but how could I when everyone was staring at me like I was a wild beast.

I was gay. I came to that realization. I stared in the mirror of my bedroom and whispered that over and over again. I was gay and I realized that the silver was being scratched away and gold was appearing and at this point it didn't really bother me. I completely stopped caring. I went up to the attic look through those old porn mags my brother told me about and I sat there surrounded by penises with a juice box. Not my best moment, but it would be something to tell my kids.

My mom didn't find me, so that was good, but also a little concerning, because I believe she is avoiding me. She gave me a little brochure for a camp called "St. Judus Boys Camp" and in tiny text under that was "For questioning children to change and become one with God" there were some gay pride flags that were x-ed out. I wasn't happy about going, but on the other hand I'd be surrounded by other people that are gay. Would they be nice, would they hate me, would some come on to me? Would I fall in love?

I threw my scattered ideas away and began packing my bag. I packed nice button down shirts and some of my silly shirts that have odd things on them that Alfred bought me as gags for Christmas. I never wore them, but if I was now Gay Ludwig I had to have a new persona.

I remembered I didn't shut the attic door, so I climbed to the top of the door, but suddenly my eyes caught something. Something hanging off the wall. I crawled over and pulled it off the wall shaking the dust and cobwebs off to find it was a leather jacket. It was dark with soft fluff inside. On the breast was a pentagram and the flag of Germany. Probably something of my brother's, but in my head it looked perfect. I donned the jacket and found it fitted me to a tee.

If Gay Ludwig was needing a new persona then this was him. The guy wearing the leather jacket and funky shirt with jellyfishes and bees on it. Odd, but it kind of grew on me. The more I wore the clothing rather than the button downs the more I became more looser. I actually had random girls coming up to me at school asking if I was the famous boy who kissed another and was being sent away to bad boy camp. I didn't kiss and tell, but just merely smiled and shrugged telling them to stay in God's light. They also gave me weird looks for that, hahah ugh.

I found the week was eaten up so quickly, my days of freedom were short lived as now I found myself in a car being driven by my father and mother. My suitcases were packed in the back and I played with the cross on my chest.

"Ludwig," Mother smiled pleasantly, "Why are you wearing that dusty old thing."

I hummed, "The jacket? Well it's Gilbert's and looks brand new. I'd rather wear my brother's clothing." I kept emphasizing his name and my relationship knowing my parents hated it when I did that.

"Oh look! Take a right, honey, the path is that way." I noticed on a wooden sign in cheery blue letters it said "ST JUDUS CAMP GROUNDS!"

"Entertaining." I nodded twisting my fingers in the chain. The cold silver of the necklace cord gave a relaxing cool on my neck, but also sent a shiver down my spine.

For a month I would be staying at St. Judus, my school sent me off on sickness, like I was mentally ill or something? The season was a content October with the weather slowly turning colder, but when you live in LA everything is still hot. People went to the beach in December, I just want to see snow.

My Father parked the car in a gravel drive way and I stepped out. I was greeted with a huge layout camp. At the front was a nice building that looked to be the mess hall, or simply a guess from me because I saw smoke. Across a field that had football nets and a playset there was a tiny chapel. Off on it's own was a cluster of cabins that all looked different. There were people, that made my heart drop.

I wasn't usually the one for social situations so seeing people kicking around the football on the field and a few others swinging. It seemed rather pleasant.

Father was looking around to talk with someone, his eyes spotted the swing first and he began marching over. Sitting on the swing was a boy around my age, he had a black sweater on with his cross pulled out awkwardly to be seen. His hair was an auburn with green and yellow eyes staring back. He looked absolutely terrified, the book in his hands began to shake.

"Boy." He said in the most threatening voice, "Where is the leader of this area."

The words didn't seem to form he looked so nervous it scared me, I noticed a set of top and bottom red braces on his teeth, they looked nice.

"May I help you?" Father looked up to see another boy, he was much taller than the one of the swing with dark skin and curly hair. He had piercings all down his ears and even two on his lips. They looked kind of cool.

Father sighed, "I was asking this young man where the Nun that runs this place may be."

"Ah!" The teen smirked, "She is usually down in the chapel, you saw her go in with your brother, right Lovino?" he asked the teen who raised his eyebrow and glared ever so slightly, "Oh excuse my chat, I was just finish playing a game, I'm so glad you are join us-- Ah, silly me, I never asked for your name, I'm Antonio!"

He outstretched a dark hand, I noticed his wrists were covered with hand made bracelets and some being rubber. I took note of those bracelets as Lovino also had a similar one tucked under his black turtleneck sleeve.

"Ludwig, the pleasure is all mine." I gave him my firmest lawyer shake.

He laughed like I told him a joke and shook back, "Welcome to St. Judus. May I take your son around for the whole tour." He seemed like the man you wanted to bring to show your family. Polite, considerate, funny, yet something was off about him. I saw, but my mother certainly didn't, she was more busy about the two gold crosses resting between his pecs.

"Of course!" She exclaimed taking my dad's hand, "Me and Richard will be going! If I don't see you, Ludwig, remember to be good. They are trying to help."

I literally had to repress a cry of agony. Antonio gave me this look of utter sympathy and turned to the boy sitting on the swing, I think his name was Lovino. "Yes Mother, Father, Goodbye." I stood my ground knowing I would have no sympathy. No hug goodbye, no kiss, sayings of I love you and be safe. That's all she said before leaving.

"Thank me later for getting the parents away." Antonio smile became a little more sly, "I can carry a bag if you want me to."

"Thanks." I grinned taking the lighter one.

"As I said, I'm Antonio and this is Lovino." He rubbed the other's arm all to friendly, "Please excuse him he's deaf." He pointed to his ear, "He has a hearing aid, but sometimes he forgets to turn it on."

"It's on you jackass." Lovino's voice was deep and threatening, it didn't fit his Godchild look. "I just didn't respond, because it wasn't on when I was reading. When you came and flicked it back on."

I must've not noticed Antonio flip the switch of Lovino's hearing aid. We started walking to my cabin listening to the partners bicker, it was kind of sweet. "This is your cabin, three other people stay in here. Arthur Kirkland, Francis Bonnefoy, and Lovino's little brother Feliciano."

"That's nice, at least I know someone." I looked on the brighter side.

"Yeah!" Antonio chimed opening a door on the left, it was painted an ugly yellow with a dark wooden bed and the mattress was propped against the wall. The dresser had all the drawers pulled open and the mirror had a fine sheen of dust. I cringed at the room, would I really be staying here for a month. "Oh, here, let me help you set everything up."

Together me and Antonio took the mattress and put it on the bed and we also pulled out my sheets and bed spread and started pulling them around the mattress. Lovino stole some wipes from his brother's room and wiped down the dresser and mirror. When everything was dusted and the bed was made it almost seemed more homey.

"Do you need anymore help, me and Lovi would love to help." Antonio smiled showing the dimples on his cheeks. My stomach did flips and I played with the cross again.

"Um... No, I'm fine, everything's fine. I just need to put my clothing away. Thank you so much for helping." I looked and gave him a pleasant yet ushering look to leave.

"Alright!" He put his arm around Lovino and went to push him out.

The Italian knocked Antonio's arm away and crossed his arms, "If you see my brother tell him not to skip dinner tonight, he forgets and shit." With a huff he was off with Antonio trailing behind him.

When they finally left I let a sigh repress through my lungs. It was hard enough to keep up a happy persona when dealing with people. In general he wanted to hide and cry and pretend he wasn't at an correctional camp that deals with questioning teens.

To keep my mind off the urge to cry, I put my clothing away and sat my books on the floating shelf over the top of the bed. I even opened the tiny window to let in the October air, I liked it.

"Is anyone in here?" A knock came on my door, I turned around quickly almost dropping the bible in my hand, oh that would have been bad.

The person standing at my door was attractive, I couldn't help, but describe him that way. He was shorter than me and was skinny, but had more weight around his hips and legs. He was definitely Lovino's younger brother by the brown hair with the auburn tint, but younger had a pair of brown eyes I'd love to get lost in. He was different than his brother, because on his short nails was chipping light blue nail polish, instead of braces he had a tooth gap, his ears were pierced with black circles, he even had a small stud sticking out of his nose.

"Um, yeah." I started trying to stop myself from doing anything strange or weird.

The boy laughed and crossed his arms, "You must be new to the camp, I'm Feliciano." He stuck out a hand and I gulped. I set the Bible down on the bed and took his small hand giving him a firm and good shake.

"I know," I started, "Your brother and his friend helped me set everything up. I am Ludwig."

"Oh really?" Feliciano had the most adorable smile in the world, the way it made his eyes scrunch up and the dimples pop, I was hooked, "Lovino isn't really one to help, but I guess Toni' forced him to."

I sadly let go of his warm and soft hand that he put them in his hoodies and jumped a little. He looked cold, or maybe that blush was for me? No, Ludwig. You idiot his nose and ears are bright from the cold, you are putting your hope up.

_ Stupid. _

"Your brother told me to remind you to come to the mess hall for dinner, you forget."

Feliciano scratched the back of his hair and rolled his beautiful orbs, "Of course he would say that. Just because I missed one dinner, because I was drawing he marked me as forgetful. Here, if we want to make dinner we better go now."

He took my hand in his and pulled me out of the room, with my other hand I pulled up my sleeve to look at my watch. "What time is dinner?"

"It depends on the Sisters, but usually at 5:30."

"Oh." I muttered, it was 5:25. How could I be so uncoordinated.

He looked at me and squeezed my hand, "It's okay, you'll get better at the time schedule." We fell into a content walk, I caught up to his speed, but at the same time he wouldn't let go of my hand. At one point he began analyzing them, picking at my nail and rubbing at the callous. "You have big hands." he whispered as he pressed our hands together, my fingers were much longer than his.

"You have small hands," I remarked back, "They say small hands are perfect for craftsmanship."

"They are..." He hummed, "That must be why I am an artist.. Pose for me sometime, Ludwig. I'd love to draw you." He dropped my hand to open the mess hall doors. Inside it was contently warm with large round tables. Different boys were all gathered around the tables talking, laughing, no food in sight.

Feliciano lead me to a table near the back with Lovino, Antonio, and 2 blondes I never saw. One had long hair that was tied in what people called a Man Bun. He had a thin face, yet beautiful blue eyes. The other had shaggy blonde hair and intense green eyes. Even though he wore sweater vests and khakis against pale skin he had piercings all over.

"Feliciano! You brought Ludwig!" Antonio stood up ushering them over. "Ludwig, meet Francis and Arthur your room mates." He introduced them.

Francis paused, his hand in mid tap against the table. "Ludwig... As in Ludwig Beilschmidt."

I turned and gave him a strange look, "Yes, that is my last name, how do you know it."

"You have a older brother, Gilbert. He talks about you a lot, always wondering what your doing, if you became just like your parents, always wondering." He said solemnly, I felt my heart lurch as I listened to him, "I lived in a flat with my parents, I'd sit on my apartment's fire escape to listen to the traffic and smoke, he was two flats below me, I'd hear him talk on the phone to a boyfriend, I'd listen to him cry. So many times he tried to call you."

I grabbed the cross against my chest and gave it a squeeze, "I would've loved a call from him. I haven't heard his voice in 12 years. He wonders about me, but I am stuck here."

"Faggot Hell." Lovino deadpanned, "This place may seem all happy, but it is Hell. 8 o'clock religious sermons to 10, they lock your door at night so you won't leave, that also means you might piss your pants, the food sucks, they make you go outside and have fun time. The only good place is the nurse and the library."

I sat down at the round table, Feliciano sitting beside me, he moved his chair closer than mine. "They have a library?" I was excited, I loved books.

"Yeah," He brought his hand up to his face and pulled at lip, "I can take you there after dinner, we have a few hours of time to ourselves after dinner, I tend to stay in there until I need to get ready for bed."

"Alright! That would be amazing." I hid my smile behind my fist.

Lovino frowned and reached across the table to pull at his brother's shirt. He brought his hands to the stomach making a circular shape with his fingers and then brought his hands up in a flipping motion before pointing to me. Feliciano laughed hysterically, shaking his head before responding with vivid hand motions. Both of the siblings went back with a flutter of hand moments.

"It's sign language." Feliciano finally said rubbing my arm, "I'll tell you later what Lovi said."

"Aww hell no!" Lovino jumped up, "You aren't telling him anything."

Feliciano put his hands up and laughed, his hand balled into a fist with his pinky standing up as he hit his forehead. Lovino rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

I laughed at the sibling antics, but suddenly I became the only one speaking. Feliciano took my arm into his lap as he looked over. I turned to see a woman with short brown hair styled up in thick curls and hairspray. She wore a bright green t-shirt with mom jeans.

"Hello my children! I hope everyone did your prayers before coming." Everyone looked around, I was pretty sure everyone was lying to her prude face. "Tonight's dinner is chicken noodle soup and bread, come up to the station when your table is called. Like tradition the table with the newest member to the family goes up first."

She looked over at us and my heart dropped. Guess we are going first. Feliciano pulled me to the station and an older lady gave me a blue tray with a Styrofoam bowl that had a plastic lid on it, on the side was a slice of honey butter and brown bread. I looked at the food and back to her. She gave no sympathy.

When everyone got back to their seat with their food sitting in front of them this strange lady began walking through the lines of tables. When I went to uncover the soup, both Feliciano and Lovino slapped me.

"Let us pray," She began with a sickly sweet smile, "Dear God, thank you for the preparers of this food and the nourishment it will give these sick children. May you allow them to be back in your hearts and for you to teach them the meaning of what it feels to be blessed. Amen."

Everyone, including me, said Amen and I was allowed to lift the lid of the soup. I was not happy and everyone could see it across my face. It looked like someone splashed in thick, yet thin noodles in sickly greenish brown broth and decided overflowing it with carrots would help. The bread we were given was the horrible gluten free kind, Arthur got the butt in which I let him trade with me since no one liked the butt, but I'd take one for the team.

I ate, I chat, I laughed, but on a low note. The lady, which I found out her name being Gail, watched everyone like hawks. Lovino literally turned off his hearing aids and took both of them out so he didn't have to listen to her. I wanted to do that, because she pulled out this old 7 string guitar and began jamming to Christian songs. So while Lovino ate in peace and quiet we had to listen to songs like Jesus Loves Me, Abraham, and my personal favorite, all fags go to hell.

We were finally able to leave that horrible place and Lovino put back in his hearing aids with a content smile. He explained he wasn't that deaf, without his aids everything sounded underwater or if someone was whispering. It was sadly acute hearing loss which one day he woke up and found he couldn't hear absolutely anything. His parents were very supportive and the whole family learned sign language when Lovino was having trouble, he could barely hear himself talk making his voice louder than most people's. The years by now were a bit easier, he said it became easier with good friends and some of his hearing came back, but it still wasn't phenomenal.

They were interesting siblings, born on the same day, but different years. Feliciano was my age, 17, while Lovino was 19. Lovino's sexuality was outed when his parents saw him giving his number to a guy at a store in which he revealed being not just a little gay, but super gay. Feliciano was outed by his brother, but no feelings were hurt.

Me and the siblings sat together in the comfy library, it had huge mahogany bookshelves covered in books. Lovino took us to his little alcove with blankets and pillows.

"So, Luddy," Feliciano said in a hushed voice, "How did you get found out, for being gay I mean."

I blushed and played with the cross on my neck, "I-I I will tell you later Feli, I really don't feel comfortable..."

"It's fine!" Feliciano laughed, "It's hard I know, I won't pressure you or anything."

"Boys." The friendly Librarian came up to us, she was tall with a comfy looking sweater and long brown hair, "You should be getting ready for bed, lights out are in twenty minutes."

I pulled up the sleeve of my jacket and nodded at that, "We shall be going, thank you for your hospitality and let God's light be in you."

"What a kind boy you are." She praised leading us to the entrance. The siblings parted ways and I left on my own. I took my tooth brush and change of night wear to the bathroom that was in a different building. I did the normal routine and went back to my room. I set the bag on my dresser and pulled back my covers.

The door opened and I saw Feliciano standing there, he had a large night shirt that fell over one shoulder showing a cluster of freckles across his neck and shoulders. He walked over to me and gave me a big hug, "Good night Luddy, thanks for being my friend," He whispered gripping tightly at my shirt, "Not everyone wants to be my friend so it's nice to have someone to talk to and have them listen."

I gave him a hug back and sent him on his way with a smile. He waved at me before running back to his room with the door slamming.

"Mr. Beilschmidt." Gail came through the cabin's door and stride over to me. "Please get into bed, God will not be please if you are up all night." She shut my door and I heard the clicks of the lock being set in place. I gulped now being complete and total darkness. Quietly and carefully I made my way back to my bed and got under the grey covers. I pulled out the flashlight from my corner table and flicked it on, the glint from the flashlight against the dresser's mirror flashed in my light eyes making me yelp. I pulled the bible from my shelf of books and began reading. I let the scriptures lull me to a restful sleep, a comfortable and home feeling in those crisp honey pages. Even if the passages didn't give me a straight right or wrong answer, I could tell I've been missing something all these years.

* * *

 

The days began passing, every morning I woke up before my door was unlock and waited until Gail got there. I told her I showered early and apparently she trusted me more than most of the teens here so I was allowed. When I came back from the showers with dripping hair and a shiver in my step I was always tempted to knock on Feliciano's door or see what was inside that room. I pictured the room with a colorful bedspread and beautiful pictures taped to the walls. Something just as beautiful as the boy with the nose piercing.

Feliciano usually did greet me in the morning, I went back into my room to change, today I wore a grey shirt with bumblebees on it and khakis. I wore a light sweater over the skirt and I would also put on my leather jacket, but not until I got outside. I slicked my hair back with enough gel and took out my comb.

"Hello Luddy Puppy!" Feliciano chimed walking into my room. I gave him a simple hello as he sat on my freshly cleaned bed with a bag of chex mix, my favorite. His parents usually brought him and his brother care packages and after finding out my favorite snack food he asked for chex mix to give to me.

"Good morning Feliciano, I see your care package has come on time." Sometimes it would come later in the week, yet today it seemed to come right on the dot.

"I know!" He gushed, "I was waiting forever for those girl scout cookies, but now I have them and I'm gonna eat them all."

I rubbed my hands on the towel to get away the gel and turned around taking the bag from Feliciano, "Remember to ration, I don't want you living off those cookies for a month."

He stuck his tongue out at me making me laughed roll my eyes. I placed the bag in my dresser and closed it, if Gail were to find the stash of chex mix she'd definitely confiscate it so for now he just kept it to himself and occasionally brought some to the library.

"Breakfast is going to be soon, we better get going, let's go Ludwig!" Feliciano jumped up holding out his hand. I took the small hand and we walked together to the mess hall, I didn't know why he always wanted to hold my hand, but either way I wasn't complaining. Feliciano had been a close friend and kind of crush for the past 3 weeks I've been at this camp and through the hard times and long services we been together thick and thin.

It was six o'clock when we got into the mess hall and took our seats with Lovino, Antonio, Arthur, and Francis. Lovino had his nose in a book like usual, I loved reading, but I was over shadowed by Lovino's love. That boy reads anything and was always a great partner for a book discussion, he was never hesitant to give opinion. Antonio was mumbling something under his breath as he held Lovino's spare hand tracing the curves on his palm. Sometimes Antonio did talk to himself, I pretended I didn't hear it sometimes, because it was either him discussing a tree's color with himself or something he liked, like the time we saw a turtle by the beach and he began uttering in Spanish. Francis was combing his hair and putting a light touch of make up over his thin face and Arthur was angrily tapping his black polished nail on the table. He was irritated and hungry, I could tell.

Gail came in, we got our food, soggy waffles (again) and we ate in silence while Gail sang her Christian songs. Lovino threw his hearing aids on the table and stuffed a piece of waffle in his mouth, I wish I could do that.

After that half and hour of hell we were sent to the little chapel and everyone sat down. We had a guest speaker this morning, Gail introduced him as Mr. Fro. Mr. Fro was a tall man with ink black hair and a greasy mustache. He walked to the pulpit and opened up the bible sitting there.

"Brothers, Welcome!" He raised his arms, "I know why everyone is here, you let the devil take your young virgin hands and let him lead you into darkness! Why! Why would you do it!" He walked down the carpeted floor staring at everyone. Feliciano gripped my hand and I squeezed his back. "The gays are bad and you are all bad, but God will forgive after he sees what you all are doing. He is the great savior!"

This man talked for the 3 hours, he shouted at us, chastised us, even threatened a kid in the front row.

_ "God didn't tell you to be yourself, he told you to follow him words!" _

Numbly we all left the sanctuary, yet why call it that, it wasn't somewhere safe I could go to sit down and speak to my main man God. No, it was where I had to grip Feliciano's hand so he wouldn't cry, it was a place of fear, I dreaded every day before breakfast. What would she say, what would she say about him today, why did I even have to go.

I took myself to the library and took out a book by whim, it was a thick book with a green covered, it was a story of murder, but at the same time it was very entertaining. I already read my bible from cover to the end of scriptures, so now I was broadening my selection. Lovino picked out a few books for me, I would need to listen to him someday.

As I was reading I felt the pillow I was sitting on shift and a warm body press against my side. I leaned my head to lay in the soft locks of Feliciano's. I didn't even have to look up to know his presence was around me. I knew his scent, the texture of his hair, even the warmth of his body. It became an almost nice feeling to be around him.

I constantly had to hold back touching him or having the urge to kiss his nose when he did the stupid, yet fascinating things. He was a very touchy person either way, lightly punching my nose, hugging me, touching my arms, holding my hands. We almost sold the whole camp we were dating.

How I wished.

A smell reached my nose, something strong.

"What are you doing." I mumbled looking over his head. His legs were crossed with a little box between them. He was painting his nails with the light blue.

"Painting my nails. Would you like me to do yours." He looked at me and smiled slightly.

I blushed, "Uh sure, what colors do you have."

He picked up the red box and sent it over to me. I marked my page and set the book down before opening the box. Inside was a galore of blues, greens, purples, everything popped in my eyes, but something hit my eyes, it was a shimmery gold.

"This." I showed him the gold.

He smiled, "That will lovely on you Luddy!" He took the container and went back to painting his. I went back to my book until he was done with the whole drying process. He made me set down the book and carefully he began bringing them to life. When he was done I looked at them and smiled softly.

"Thank you, I love them." Our faces were so close, I could feel his breath tickling my lips. He leaned in and I leaned in to. Our lips touched in a quiet, soft, yet meaningful kiss. He held my hand to his chest as he pushed against my lips, not breaking my hold with his tongue, but enough to show me how much he wanted this kiss. Then all a sudden he pushed me away and looked at me with wild eyes.

"Ludwig." He whispered before jumping up and running away.

"Wait!" I cried, my hand just brushing against his long sleeve shirt. "Feliciano!" I rubbed my face and picked up the little box of nail polish. Saying my goodbyes to the librarian I walked back to my cabin and opened up the door I always wanted to see inside.

Feliciano's Room.

Inside it was warm, the yellow walls seemed more homey, his bed had white duvets with a cream cat blanket folded at the bottom. A comfort toy of a cat sat at the top, it was so elegant with soft black fur and gold buttons for eyes. He had a dresser with a scatter of art supplies and pictures were taped along the mirror. I notice one thing opened, a picture, it was of me. I was staring back with half colored pastel blue eyes. There was speech bubble that was crossed out that said:

_ "I love you, Feliciano." _

I touched the blue pastel of my eyes and came back with the pastel on my finger, he was such an amazing and creative creature. I remember my first week I was scared to leave my cabin, I didn't know what I was doing, but he brought me down to the rocky beach and we sat together. That night I gave him my jacket and he snuggled in the warmth, he told me I smelled like his home, it made him more calm.

I wanted to kiss him then, I wanted to kiss him and make sure everything was better. I wanted him to be okay.

I pulled up my sleeve to look at my watch, it was almost dinner time. I planned on talking to Feliciano after dinner, sort this whole situation out, tell him my feelings, but when I got to the table he wasn't there. Lovino said he heard nothing from him and Francis told him he didn't see him walking around.

I left the mess hall without dinner to go find him. I walked all around camp, searched every nook and cranny, but no sight. I was walking down the trail to the beach when I finally saw him. He was sitting alone with the setting sun shining on his face. The water lapped at his feet and shivered. The water was probably cold, I don't know why he was freezing his ass off.

With a sigh I shedded the leather jacket and when I got behind him I placed it over his shoulders. He looked up startled, yet we grew quiet staring into each other's eyes.

"I want to tell you something," I told him sitting beside him, "I want to tell you why I am here, the question you asked the first day I came here. It was last month, I've been friends with this asshole, but at the time I thought he was the coolest thing to ever hit the planet. He swore, he had a phone, showed me scary movies on his computer, I thought he was amazing. I went to his church, because I slept over." I gave a silent laugh as I played with the cross against my pecs, "He got us right out of that service and together we went upstairs. He said I nagged to much and I needed to let loose... so he pinned me to a wall and began kissing me. I didn't like being used by my said 'best friend'. When we were done his Mom came up and she was appalled. She yelled at me calling me the fag, when it was Alfred, but at the same time I met him straight in the middle for that kiss. She said she'd call my mom and Alfred left me a quivering mess. I almost jumped out a window."

Feliciano had tears streaming down his face as he held my hand, I even felt my eyes tearing up. "I was going to kill myself, because I couldn't fathom the thought of my mother being disappointed in me. Yet, she pulled me out of the window and told me I was going to be fixed. I was sent away and now I'm here. I don't know what I'm doing or if I am actually okay, but being with you made my days here more enjoyable."

I looked into his honey eyes, "I love your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your ability to make conversations move so nicely, I like how we can be in the same room and be silent and it's not awkward, I like how your hair lands when you wake up and the art you make. I think I'm in love with you."

Feliciano shyly played with my fingers, "I like you too, but I don't want this relationship to move too quickly. Let's just settle on like."

He faced me with pursed lips, I grinned back capturing them in a mind blowing kiss.

"Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is fucking 10 pages long, no wonder it took me so long and even I finished it so early even with homecoming, computer trouble, Mystic Messenger, and color guard + school. 
> 
> Lovino called Ludwig a twat waffle in sign language if you were wondering, then Feliciano called him idiot/stupid.
> 
> if you liked the story plz give me a little comment or a kudo, even both! one more chapter to go~


	4. It's A Small World.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end you can't really believe it will all end good and dandy, but there is always a good outcome. Why not take the bull by it's horn and hang on for a little longer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, my short side story is finally done, I actually am in love with this story. At first I was very iffy, but now I feel more refreshed and ready to start a brand new story and I got those gears going! I don't know where things will go, but I hope it's eventful for my fans :)

The last two weeks of camp was all well and dandy, I now had a boyfriend... Wow that sounds weird. I never thought those words would leave my mouth, but now that I had Feliciano life has been getting better. I haven't been my total mess of a character or wishing I could leave, because being with Feliciano was bliss. God didn't strike me down or did I lose myself in faith, I was just being me! Instead of being scared of religion and having it hold my hand and teach me what to do, I let my own soul lead me around and give me big warm hugs.

"Do you want to do this?" It was late at night, I broke the lock on my door and me and Feliciano walk beside each other. I nodded at him and knocked on the tall tale door.

"Shhh!" Came a hiss and Francis opened his door. "I told you to be quiet. If Gail were to hear us we will all die. Now get your ass in here." He snapped at us and pulled me in. Feliciano floated inside rubbing his eyes.

We sat together on the floor and Francis pulled out a flip phone. All phones were taken, but somehow the Frenchman passed everything and got that phone in. He flipped it open and started pressing in numbers while looking at a sheet of paper.

"Are you sure this is the right number?" I asked.

Francis rolled his eyes as he pressed in the last number, "I am sure, I remember his number like the back of my hand." He pressed call and my heart dropped. He handed me the phone and I pressed it to my ear.

"Hello?" A voice said quietly in the phone, "This better not be a telemarketer calling me at 3 AM." that voiced made me smile and fresh tears ran down my face.

"Gilbert! No it's me!"

"....Ludwig. Holy fuck!"

I heard the sound of bed sheets being thrown and Gilbert jumping up, "Yes, it's me! You won't believe where I am."

"I don't believe you have a phone, Mom said phones are devil works."

"I know, it's Francis, your neighbor's phone. I'm at a Queer questioning camp."

There was sound of his airy laughter, "God, Ludwig. What did you do?"

Feliciano mouthed 'me' and I laughed hysterically, "Mom caught me, oops. But I need you help, this camp did not help, well it taught me some good life choices like I am very gay, but mom won't like this lifestyle."

"No, she isn't going to like that."

"I need a place to stay after she kicks me out."

"Damn, Luddy, you ask a lot."

"Gilbert....."

"I'm joking! You can always stay me with me Lud, but I kind of have a.... well someone else lives with me.... we been together for a while, but I don't think he'll mind my little brother staying with us until he gets on his feet... Now, brother to brother, did you find yourself a boyfriend."

My cheeks inflamed and Feliciano giggled, "Well.... uh...."

Warm hands took the phone from my ear and pressed it to his own, "He did, my name is Feliciano, I must say your brother is an utmost gentleman."

"Wow really? Nothing did change, but it's good for him to actually man up and finally get himself a boy toy. Please tell me he tops."

"My lips are sealed."

"I thought we were brothers-in-law!"

I ripped the phone from Feliciano, "Stop harassing my boyfriend, now do we have a deal."

"Yepper Pepper, I'll tell Matthew you'll be chilling in the next room and Mom and Dad can suck a big fat DICK!"

My cheeks inflamed, "Gilbert!"

* * *

 

Suddenly I woke up, ugh my brain hurt. How did memories from years ago still play in my dreams. I remember that call, I was young, but Gilbert held truth to his promise. After that week was done, I threw myself into my Mom's Honda Odyssey, waited until I got home, had a meal then I broke it to them that the camp didn't help.

I told them about my experience and how now I had Feliciano and how I found that I didn't need the church ruling my life. The stares I got still made me laugh to this day. I smiled as my dad screamed in my face and my Mom hysterically crying.

I was sent into my room until Gilbert came and saved me. He changed for sure, he grew taller, broader in the chest, his white hair more crazy and choppy, pink eyes hidden behind black sunglasses.

Like a princess trapped in her tower I embraced him and he lead me outside with his middle finger towards their faces screaming about them being bigots and assholes.

I moved to New York with my brother, I got my education from his flat with help from his boyfriend Matthew. I went to college in business, I worked in every place in L.A. to just keep me eating, because I couldn't ask of anything from Gilbert, he helped me to much.

Me and Feliciano, well we lost touch. When we got to college I became to busy to even pick up a phone and talk to him, but that didn't mean we stopped dating. I stayed faithful to him and one day we did start talking. After college was done and that I was now incredible debt, Feliciano moved to New York.

He became a pastry artist, he made beautiful cakes and they even tasted perfecto! or that's what he likes to say. Me and Lovino still talk, every time he comes to visit with Antonio from Spain we talk about the books he read. I learned sign language, it's easier to communicate with Lovino when you understood his hand motions, but now Feliciano couldn't talk privately with his brother about me.

Also call me a twat waffle.

That boy is such a child.

I got a job in C. Inc. A company based in giving new products money to become bigger. As I began doing business I became well known going up in the ranks. At the young age of 32 I am the Chairman and the office is now called Beilschmidt Inc. I am in the news, I don't know if it's good or bad.

_ A look in Chairman Ludwig's mansion. _

_ Chairman Ludwig finally seals the deal with new Fiancé. _

_ Wedding of Chairman Ludwig's and his sweetheart Feliciano Vargas is around a 3 thousand dollars. _

_ Feliciano Vargas, Fiancé of Chairman Ludwig has a chat about their meeting and about homophobia, Feels! _

My Fiancé, my love, my little Prince, he means the world to me and now he's back in my life I found everything is less hectic. The late nights when he comes and massages my shoulders and the sweet kisses goodbye, I could die.

I laid back in bed and turned to the small lump, I throw my arm around the body and kiss the warm, tan neck.

"Feliciano." I whisper.

"One more minute." A whine came, I smiled in the back of his neck, rubbing his side with love.

"One minute turns to one minute until work Love, we both know this." I sat up depriving him of my warm body. He whined loudly splaying himself on my lap, I laugh quietly threading my hand in his soft hair and giving it a tiny shake. The auburn tinted hair swished back in forth and tangled between my fingers, but how could I stay mad, his hair was always a curly mess.

He lifted his head giving me his best angry puppy look. He was just like I remember when I was younger, he still had that tooth gap, he still had those honey brown eyes, his skin was still an olive complexion, but now his face was round, he still had his dimples, yet they lighten over age. His under eyes went darker and just the faintest lines of wrinkles set in line. He used to many beauty products to be getting wrinkles.

I kissed his nose, "Love you." I mumbled.

"Love you too, Luddybear." Feliciano swooned, grabbing my cheeks and bringing me into such a big kiss I fell over in bed.

Together with more promises and deep kisses I got up and Feliciano went to the kitchen with a hickey on his neck and ruffled hair. I smiled fondly at his body as he disappeared and I went on doing my morning routine.

I looked professional, with the form fitting suits and slicked back with hair. One smile and I could get a deal. People who came to me made it big in this economic world, people just like me. People young, influential, different.

I polished the two crossed that stuck out in front of my tie and went out of the room to walk the hallway and to the kitchen. Feliciano was humming over a plate of pancakes he just finished placing on the table.

I grinned sheepishly sneaking up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist spinning him around. A flutter of laughter as I set him down on the counter and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks for breakfast, Love."

"You're welcome Bear."

I noticed the two crosses dangling from his neck, the one I gave to him, a family heirloom that was always passed down to lovers and his own Italian cross that matched his older brother's. It was Friday that meant two days to church.

I still felt religion was too strong, but the church I went to was very diluted. The United Methodist were different than the plain Methodists that stuck to very precise tradition. Baptist was out of the question, they were bad people.

"I can't wait to--"

_ DING DONG _

I stopped mid smile and looked at the door. Feliciano had the same look as me, "Um, why is someone at the door so early? Did you invite someone without telling me?"

"Er, No, Feliciano I'd tell you when someone came. Maybe it's a reporter."

They came to an agreement it was a reporter, Feliciano excused himself to get ready and I walked to the door. I opened it and was assaulted with the new sun, but someone standing in front.

Tall, Blonde, Blue eyed, Alfred.

"Alfred Jones." I deadpanned.

Alfred was still the same, the crazy American still had his sunny blonde hair that pulled up and curled, blue eyes just like the ocean, and his crazy fashion. He now wore these dark red glasses and to compliment his crosses were two dog tags.

"Ludwig Beilschmidt, long time no see." He grinned like a wolf, "Billionaire Ludwig Beilschmidt, Chairman of the biggest fucking loan company in the world."

"I don't need this now, Alfred, you don't believe this, but I despise you."

"Despise me? What did I ever do to you?"

"What did you do to me?" I had to hold my shocked laugh, "Alfred you toyed with my feelings, yanked me out of the closet, and to add to that I was to a concentration camp to change my feelings when it should've been you at that camp."

"Don't you understand? I liked you, I didn't just yank you out for fun. I was going to talk to you after school and tell you my feelings but you avoided me!"

"Yeah, I had a very good reason."

A pause came upon us, it was uncomfortable. I crossed my arms waiting for his next witty and funny response.

"Um... you haven't changed a bit Lud, you're still your naggy-self."

I stopped hearing feet approach, "Ludwig do you know where my-" Feliciano's mouth shut as he held one shoe and a confused look, "Is this a reporter Ludwig."

"Who is that Ludwig?" Alfred smiled deviously, "He's a little cutie."

Alfred went to walk in, but I moved and stopped him with my body, "My Fiancé, don't touch him. Feliciano this an old childhood friend-ish, Alfred."

Feliciano paused remembering who that was, "Alfred Jones? That kid that sent you to Judus, Lovino called him-" He paused giving a big dramatic show of twat waffle.

I sadly nodded and giving him the full story in sign language leaving Alfred in the dark. "When did you learn that Hand talk Ludwig."

"My Fiancé's brother is deaf. It was courteous of me, now enough of the chit chat, what do you want from me. Money, I won't give. Sympathy, no. A relationship, already have one."

"No," Alfred rolled his eyes, "God, you are still a big asshole. I just wanted to talk to you about your parents."

"What about them?" I pushed up my glasses rubbing my face, "I cut off all communication with them after I moved in with my brother."

"Yes, I am well aware of you doing that, but I am having a wedding-"

"A wedding?" Feliciano piped up, he always was one to talk about weddings. I don't know how times I tuned him about what the meaning of flowers were during dinner. I loved him, but I didn't love him that much.

"Yes, my own. I met this guy, after some blonde shit ruined my relationship with Ivan-" I gave a shrug with a small smile, "-he is a really great guy and I really wanted you to be my best man."

"Me?" My voice must have raised an octave.

"Yeah, you asshole. You're my best friend from childhood, you're the only guy I know who knows me better than myself, we haven't talked in over 20 years, but I just wanted you to be there. I asked your parents if they knew of your whereabouts, because remember I lost all communication with you when you left and they said, "That fag? He's somewhere in New York living this big life, he won't even send any money home. I see his name in the news sometimes."

"Oh. Alfred." I mumbled, "I believe we started cold."

He laughed scratching the back of his head, "I mean you have all right to be angry at me, but hey you met a good guy, because of me."

I wrapped my arm around Feliciano and gave his arm a rub. "Yeah, I guess, and I mean if I didn't ruin your relationship with Ivan you wouldn't of met this perfect guy." I offered.

He laughed and pulled out his phone, his eyes crinkled just like Feliciano when he showed us a picture.

Blonde hair, piercing green eye, that frown, Arthur Kirkland?

"Motherfucker!" Feliciano yelled and I slapped my face.

The world was small, isn't it?


End file.
